ok, so going from blogging once every few months to once a week didn't happen quite the way i had planned... its not that i didn't want to blog, i guess that i thought that what i wanted to say wasn't important enough or that no one wanted to read it. i encouraged my friend who is a super writer to start a blog and she asked "who would want to read it?" i said "ME!" and "who cares!?" i honestly didn't even think about who may or may not read my blog when i started it. i guess it was more of a tool for me to cement, to the internet, how God is working in my life. and if someone else reads it, cool. until last month, i thought only 2 people read my blog... then i stumbled upon something that told me how many times it had been read. i was quite surprised. maybe that's why i hesitated to write another one. pressure! pressure to perform! pressure from my fans! =) jk
so i thought the words of max lucado were worth stealing and blogging about:
re: daily devotions w God [paraphrased]
"we are all busy. so rather than spend time with God, listening for his voice, we let others spend time with him and then benefit from their experience. let them tell us what God is saying. isn't that why we pay preachers? isn't that why we read christian books? these folks are good at daily devotions, i'll just learn from them."
i think i had this attitude for a long time. i do love reading. ok! so i'm a little bit of a book hoarder. [someone returned 5 books to me today that i had loaned out a loooooong time ago and had totally forgotten about. and 2 other books returned home to me yesterday, too!] i like books, don't judge me.
anyways, i love learning about what God is telling and teaching other people. i hung out there for many years. but then i got jealous. a good, holy jealous! hey, if God can speak to her/him, he can speak to ME, too! right? and he does! and it is so much better to get the word straight from God then passed down from someone else. something happened inside of me that made me want to hear from my God. after all, I made a personal commitment to allow Jesus into my life... i just hadn't given him access to my heart yet. i remember reading the beatitudes years ago and loving 'blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.' that was me! i wanted to hunger for righteousness! i wanted to be filled! so i literally started asking God to give me a hunger for Him, so that i can be filled! isn't it so weird that all we have to do is ask God for one of his promises and he will fulfill it?! some of the things i pray and ask for are so silly sometimes! of course God is not a genie, and he doesn't grant our every wish, but when i began to pray 'teach me your ways, God,' he did! i prayed for what God wanted in my life... not for what I wanted. but soon, i wanted what God wanted because it was way better than what i wanted in the first place! and now, i only want what God wants for me. i told a friend today that i'm doing what God wants, but its not what I want. and trust me, that's a hard spot to be in! i'm a toddler all over again, kicking and stomping. i'm having to learn to fully surrender what i want, because more than anything else, i truly do want what God wants for me.
"we don't 'hang on the coattails' of other people in other areas of our lives. we don't say, 'vacations are such a hassle, all the packing and traveling. i'll just send someone else of vacation for me. i'll just hear about it when they can back.'"
that cracked me up.
"we don't do it with romance either. we don't say 'i'm in love with a wonderful person, but all that romance is such a hassle. i'll just hire a surrogate lover to enjoy the romance in my place. i'll just hear about it when they're done.'"
i think some people do a fabulous job of keeping God just far enough at bay to avoid transformation. because if you allowed God even get into your head or heart just a little bit, something might change. he might want you to grow! and try new things! and trust him. trust him so he can take you on the ride of your life that you never dreamed or imagined. trusting God with your life, every aspect of your life, is scary. but for me, the thought of standing at the pearly gates and having to hear God say "well this was the life i had in mind for you, but you didn't listen. i tried to get your attention, but you were too busy. or you turned away right when the good stuff was coming. a few times, i thought i had your attention, but you allowed _________ to get in the way." no, no, no... i definately don't want to hear that! i want to grab onto any little piece of what God has for me, probably to a fault. i want to get as close as i can to him here, now, so i don't miss any blessings he has just especially for me. so, i must spend time with him every day. 5 minutes. 1 hour. 32 minutes. i just a piece of Jesus each day to keep me going.
the road is long. the journey is tough. speaking of God's promises... we are promised troubles. i truly believe that God allows trouble to enter our lives, so we will turn to him to seek comfort, refuge and hope. i've known many people that praise God through their troubles, even manage to bless other people when they are experiencing trouble. amazing. was amazed to hear that our pastor's wife was singing to her mom who was in the hospital due to a recent stroke. she sang so beautifully (and loudly) that the folks on the floor above her came down and asked her to sing their dying mother. and without hesitation, she did.
i'm grateful for stories like this that remind me of God's commandment to GO, and share what he has done in your life. i can do that, because i walk with God. God walks with me. not just once a week on sunday morning. not just at christmas and easter. every day.
so, i guess that's why i blog.
look at the miracle God has done... its me!
